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riontelЗаглянула в офис к коллеге и наткнулась на совершенно замечательную книгу "Haikus for Jews" by David M. Bader. Коллега утверждает, что это понять могут только американские (читай нью-йоркские) евреи, но я с ним не совсем согласна.
No fins, no flippers,
the gefilte fish swims with
some difficulty.
by Sheldon Lepsetin
Middle East peace talks -
the parties reach agreement.
Falafel for lunch.
Denmark's Jewish prince -
"To be or not to be - Oy!
Have I got tsuris."
"Through the Red Sea costs
extra." Israeli movers
overcharge Moses.
Manhattan sidewalk -
a Hindu street vendor sells
potato knishes.
Is one Nobel Prize
so much to ask from a child
after all I've done?
Sorry I'm not home
to take your call. At the tone
please state your bad news.
Five thousand years a
wandering people - then we
found the cabanas.
Hey! Get back indoors!
Whatever you were doing
could put an eye out.
How soft the petals
of the floral arrangement
I have just stolen.
Add cholesterol,
overcook, then serve with bread -
Recipe revealed.
Beyond Valium,
the peace of knowing one's child
is an internist.
Jewish triathlon -
gin rummy, then contract bridge,
followed by a nap.
Seven-foot Jews in
the NBA slam-dunking -
my alarm clock rings.
"Love the stranger, for
you were strangers in Egypt."
Can't we be just friends?
Hava nagila,
hava nagila, hava -
enough already.
Testing the warm milk
on her wrist, she beams - nice, but
her son is forty.
Hidden connection -
starvation in Africa,
food left on my plate.
The spitting image
of her father. Down the road
rhinoplasty, yes?
Jews on safari -
map, compass, elephant gun,
hard sucking candies.
Wet moss on the old
stone path - flat on my back, I
ponder whom to sue.
Coroner's report -
"The deceased, wearing no hat,
caught his death of cold."
Today I am a
man. Tomorrow I return
to the seventh grade.
The sparrow brings home
too many worms for her young.
"Force yourself," she chirps.
Harry Houdini -
amazing escape from his
real name, Erich Weiss.
The pure white lotus -
how rare to glimpse it parked in
my neighbor's driveway.
One of us must be
the designated drinker -
Jewish carousing.
Bare autumn branches,
the old crow sits. Mother, come
down from there at once.
Concert of car horns
as we debate the question
of when to change lanes.
No fins, no flippers,
the gefilte fish swims with
some difficulty.
by Sheldon Lepsetin
Middle East peace talks -
the parties reach agreement.
Falafel for lunch.
Denmark's Jewish prince -
"To be or not to be - Oy!
Have I got tsuris."
"Through the Red Sea costs
extra." Israeli movers
overcharge Moses.
Manhattan sidewalk -
a Hindu street vendor sells
potato knishes.
Is one Nobel Prize
so much to ask from a child
after all I've done?
Sorry I'm not home
to take your call. At the tone
please state your bad news.
Five thousand years a
wandering people - then we
found the cabanas.
Hey! Get back indoors!
Whatever you were doing
could put an eye out.
How soft the petals
of the floral arrangement
I have just stolen.
Add cholesterol,
overcook, then serve with bread -
Recipe revealed.
Beyond Valium,
the peace of knowing one's child
is an internist.
Jewish triathlon -
gin rummy, then contract bridge,
followed by a nap.
Seven-foot Jews in
the NBA slam-dunking -
my alarm clock rings.
"Love the stranger, for
you were strangers in Egypt."
Can't we be just friends?
Hava nagila,
hava nagila, hava -
enough already.
Testing the warm milk
on her wrist, she beams - nice, but
her son is forty.
Hidden connection -
starvation in Africa,
food left on my plate.
The spitting image
of her father. Down the road
rhinoplasty, yes?
Jews on safari -
map, compass, elephant gun,
hard sucking candies.
Wet moss on the old
stone path - flat on my back, I
ponder whom to sue.
Coroner's report -
"The deceased, wearing no hat,
caught his death of cold."
Today I am a
man. Tomorrow I return
to the seventh grade.
The sparrow brings home
too many worms for her young.
"Force yourself," she chirps.
Harry Houdini -
amazing escape from his
real name, Erich Weiss.
The pure white lotus -
how rare to glimpse it parked in
my neighbor's driveway.
One of us must be
the designated drinker -
Jewish carousing.
Bare autumn branches,
the old crow sits. Mother, come
down from there at once.
Concert of car horns
as we debate the question
of when to change lanes.
